Diary of a Rollator

written and submitted by an octogenarian parishioner

Summer has vanished and I’m bracing myself for Autumn with its colourful but slippery leaves and mud.

Today there was also the added burden of my Boss’s determination to get out on her daily walk, despite the torrential rain.

So, I am proud to say that I managed to support her, as usual, in spite of her clumsy negotiation of an umbrella as she tried to steer me. Complete madness … Don’t think for a minute that I panic!

I realise I am comparatively well off. As an advanced Octogenarian, my Boss cannot ever go too far or too fast. In fact, she is completely dependent on me for going out alone at all.

Overall, we get on and have a merry time. She treats me well, but I know with winter coming I may have to control her sometimes impatient recklessness.

I do get a bit peeved when she pretends to interested passersby that I am merely a receptacle for her shopping! (She often needs the seat, especially if it is windy and we have been unwisely rushing).

I have to say the daily walk is never dull, especially now in the Autumn. Jesmond is filled with amazing colour and contrasts.

Religiously following the sometimes-jerky movements of my Boss’s compromised gait (what a superb word!),  we have been exploring the charming side roads and Avenues of this special area, frequently stopping to admire the sweet, hidden gardens in their Autumnal glory, as well as the rows of beautiful houses, not to mention the astonishing array of shops and cafes.

I won’t say we WIZZ along. But we do go at a spanking pace, especially negotiating the busy main roads. (I must say that it is quite helpful that my Boss looks so dependent on me and quite frail …. We sometimes get priority from kind drivers …much to the chagrin of the unkind ones!) Other unexpected treats are when, approaching a mother with a pram or pushchair, we are met with beaming smiles by the gorgeous child, who seems to recognise in a split second, that my Boss is mysteriously going backwards and may indeed one day end up in a sort of pram herself!

Inevitably, my Boss wants to hover and baby worship, thus causing a blockage on the pavement and annoyance to all except the parent, the entrancing infant and my Boss.

I rest as patiently as I can, not always easy, I can tell you … Sometimes I show my impatience by trying to slope off because Boss has forgotten to put my breaks on! Potential Disaster … Her caring Family keeps nagging her … rightly, in my humble opinion! After the cooing and smiling, we WIZZ on (HA).

Often people stop us, especially if Boss is still smiling from the Baby Worshipping.

Frequent questions: “How helpful is it? … Can you sit on it? … Does it fold up so you can travel with it? … Are you taking it to a friend in Nursing Home? (That is my vain Boss ‘s favourite) … I would never use one of those! … It is terribly ageing, don’t you think? (to which there is an obvious answer).

My best moments, however, are when we stop in a sheltered place for a coffee or in this beautiful place my Boss frequently visits. She tucks me away in a warm corner and sits elsewhere (I don’t mind at all … Blessed relief). I hear Wise Words and the Music is sublime. The atmosphere is calm. If I am lucky, I can glance sideways and see my fellow workers, also resting and drying out their poor muddy wheels.

On the way home from these peaceful encounters, I have noticed that my Boss walks sedately and smoothly … I am not sure why. But this place seems to soothe her.

Back at the Ranch, we go up in the lift (Joy!) She folds me up, covers me with my rug and slides me into my cupboard. Job Done. Bliss …. for both of us, I hope.

Autumn is proving OK.